U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
