Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
