So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
