Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the day after is always just damage control
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
