Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
