as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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