First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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