Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
