my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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