Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
