If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
