im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
