Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
