i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
