I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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