You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
