Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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