I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I faked an abortion last night.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize