But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
