Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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