Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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