How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my sisters under your porch take her home
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
