how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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