I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize