I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
