this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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