i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize