he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
