i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
