Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
