I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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