When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize