I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
