she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is the high leading the old right now
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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