is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
