Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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