So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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