I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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