Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
