I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
