Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She's the barista slut.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
