Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
