I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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