i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
