All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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