I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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