Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
