I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
