What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
