its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have already put on my inside pants.
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