is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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