If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
