I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize