I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize