The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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