so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
