I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
