that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
