If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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