if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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