Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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