I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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