okay pat passed out under dana's car
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
